15 Rules For Being My Opening Act

table-in-hotel-after-a-gig
1. You drive, because I’m kinda drunk
2. Don’t judge me
3. I will be eating in your car
4. I pick the music, and it’s gonna be weird
5. I’ll probably tell you to pick a card
6. No I won’t find it
7. We’re gonna play with animal traps
8. Razor blades are fun too
9. Must put this mask on
10. Let’s discuss religion
11. Here take this gun
12. Yes it’s loaded
13. We’re robbing a gas station now
14. No you don’t get to do your 20 minutes
15. Stop crying

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