The Amish Comedy Hour

DIRTY JOKES AND MAGIC TRICKS Nathan Allen The Maniac of Magic Comedian Magician Entertainer Entertainment Des Moines IowaOne of the many interesting adventures that has recently happened while working with comedian Jeremy “Jer-Dog” Danley on “The Dirty Jokes & Magic Tricks Show.”  Enjoy.

“The Amish Comedy Hour”
by Jeremy “Jer-Dog” Danley
Originally posted at: http://jerdogondemand.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/the-amish-comedy-hour/

JERDOG Nathan Allen The Maniac of Magic Comedian Magician Entertainer Entertainment Des Moines IowaHere’s something you’ll never hear anyone say: “Hey! Let’s go to South Dakota for the weekend!”

About 2 weeks ago, the inaugural tour of “The Dirty Jokes and Magic Tricks Show” was launched from Ames, Iowa, when I picked up my friend and co-star Nathan Allen “The Maniac of Magic” and headed for Deadwood, South Dakota. Along the way, I discovered what happens when traveling 10 hours with a magician- all your weed will disappear. Which, in retrospect, was unfortunate, because the gig we were headed to would prove to be quite the challenge.

Our first stop was actually at Lowes hardware store to pick up razor blades for one of Nathan’s bits. He chews a half dozen razor blades and then ties them all together with dental floss, inside his mouth! I always knew Nathan was a freak, but didn’t realize how much so, until he started talking about ramming nails up his nose. I had visions of blood spraying everywhere as we rode to SD, and the last thing I needed was the inside of my van looking like a maxi-pad.

Nathan is also always practicing misdirection and sleight of hand, so for the entire tour, I had to keep my hand on my wallet like I was walking thru the south side of Chicago.

We finally arrived at the casino in Deadwood, where the gig was to take place. We were performing for the General Contractors Association of South Dakota, a crowd of almost 400 people. Nathan crushed it for over 40 mins. The crowd was raring to go, and after a quick intermission, it was my turn to take the stage. Little did anyone know, disaster was about to strike…

For the first 10 minutes of my set, I was killing with the usual assortment of my beer and dick jokes. Then, out of nowhere… Just like the scene from Ocean’s 11… All the power in the casino went out. As in completely… I was left performing to a group of nearly 400 contractors with no sound, no microphone, no lights, and nearly 45 minutes left to go in my set.

It was time for The Amish Comedy Hour!

Most comedians would have bailed.

But as you know, I’m a skilled improviser, and I know that the best comedy comes from tragedy. As the front few rows of the audience held up their smartphones with the camera flash on to help illuminate the stage, I proceeded to rail on the casino for not paying their power bill. “I took this gig because I needed the money… And apparently so does the casino.”

Eventually I went into my regularly scheduled material while one of the contractors brought in a giant flashlight to shine on the stage. My co-star in the Dirty Jokes and Magic Tricks show sat in the front row and captured the entire thing on video.

Finally, at the very end of my set, right as I was impersonating my wife receiving a new vibrator as a gift, yelling out “Hallelujah!”, the power was restored. I delivered my remaining jokes, thanked the crowd, and immediately hit the bar for a much needed (and well-deserved) Jager-bomb.

The next stop on The Dirty Jokes and Magic Tricks Tour was a gay bar in Sioux Falls. A small, but enthusiastic crowd. And the magician I was with disappeared into some sort of contraption called “The Glory Hole”… But that’s another story.

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This new year, fake your own death. Here’s how.

FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH 01 Nathan Allen The Maniac of Magic Comedian Magician Entertainer Entertainment Des Moines IowaThis might make your friends hate you.  You tell your friends that you have the ability to drastically slow your pulse, simply with the power of your mind.  They don’t believe you, so you offer to demonstrate.

With a friend feeling your strong-and-steady pulse, you appear to fall into a trance-like state.  Your pulse slows dramatically.  Your breathing becomes shallow.  Your pulse slows even more… even… more… and… then…
…STOPS.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and you slump forward in your chair, lifeless.  Your friends FREAK.  You have NO PULSE.  You appear DEAD.

As their panic crescedos, your pulse starts up again, slowly at first, then faster and faster until it’s back to normal.

You sit up… smile… and try to decide what to name your new religion.

To download the instructions, CLICK HERE.  This download will only be available for a day or two, so if you want it, get it now.

Update: Sorry, the link has expired.  BUT… Take a look around on my website.  You might just be able to find this available for download somewhere else.

Patriotism

AMERICAN FLAG Nathan Allen The Maniac of Magic Comedian Magician Entertainer Entertainment Des Moines IowaPatriotism should not be about bumper-stickers and constantly, loudly, blindly bragging about how ‘Murika is number one.

Patriotism should be about caring enough to try to make your country the best it can possibly be, even if this includes criticizing your government when it fucks up and working to correct existing wrongs, especially when what is right is not what is popular.

I’m Nathan Allen, and I approve this message.

Paid for by Nathan Allen For President 2016.