Gallagher’s watermelon-smashing heart-attack table

The table I used at my show the other night used to be one of Gallagher’s “Sledge-O-Matic” tables. True story, yo.

GALLAGHER SLEDGE O MATIC TABLE Nathan Allen The Maniac of Magic Iowa Comedian Iowa Magician Iowa Entertainer Iowa Entertainment
In fact… it was the exact same table he was using when he had his heart-attack onstage in the middle of his show:

Scary stuff.

“I… just… wanted… some… hash… browns…”

I just walked into the kitchen, and there is Curt, my roommate, standing at the open freezer with a horrified expression on his face: “I… just… wanted… some… hash… browns…”

A couple weeks ago, I filled a condom with water, tied it shut, threw it in the freezer, and totally forgot about it.  In my drunken stupor, I was sure I had just created the most genius Carrot-Top-esque comedy prop in history.  And maybe I had.  Unfortunately, I don’t remember the accompanying punchline.

So now, I have an ice-phallus, a traumatized roommate, and a head-full of half-baked ideas for necrophilia jokes.

This is shapin’ up to be a good day.