Why I stopped using big sparkly magic props in my shows (NEW VIDEO)


“I… just… wanted… some… hash… browns…”

I just walked into the kitchen, and there is Curt, my roommate, standing at the open freezer with a horrified expression on his face: “I… just… wanted… some… hash… browns…”

A couple weeks ago, I filled a condom with water, tied it shut, threw it in the freezer, and totally forgot about it.  In my drunken stupor, I was sure I had just created the most genius Carrot-Top-esque comedy prop in history.  And maybe I had.  Unfortunately, I don’t remember the accompanying punchline.

So now, I have an ice-phallus, a traumatized roommate, and a head-full of half-baked ideas for necrophilia jokes.

This is shapin’ up to be a good day.